Learning to Break Through the Top 3 Self-Leadership Hurdles
Photo by Eduard Labár on Unsplash
As mentioned in a previous post, you cannot divorce quality organizational leadership from good self-leadership. As the leader goes, so goes the organization. Moreover, the changing pace of our culture—at large and organizationally—means self-leadership matters more than ever. Yet, the focus of individual leadership is often on building personal platforms, promoting one’s brand, and image and expectation management. Here are the top three hurdles that work against good self-leadership.
1. Being Focused on the Outward Expression instead of the Inward Reality
The energy required to do all the above can be exhausting. It also serves as a genuine distraction to the real work that will produce staying power and true maturity. If we are relying on our natural abilities and personality alone, we will ultimately fail at some level because they lack the grounding of real purpose. Our deeper “why” compels us to say “yes” to some things and “no” to others.
The true nature of who we are at a soulish level is layered and complicated. We are more than our personality and desires. We are affected by our upbringing and our attachments. We all have a journey of blessings and wounds that impacts how we live, work, and present ourselves. How we react or respond to some of these inward dynamics often determines our level of empathy, authenticity, and vulnerability. These three qualities are essential for 21st century leadership.
Our awareness of these dynamics and how to grow from them will determine our leadership sustainability.
2. Being Focused on Productivity and Success at the Expense of Character and Capacity
Not only can we become absorbed with our personal expression of leadership, but we can take the organization’s desire for productivity and success to extremes. I believe this is one of the key reasons you see younger leaders (40 and below) burn out and wear out.
The drive and pressure (external and internal) to always be cutting edge, better than the competition, and wildly profitable can eat away at the soul. It is a zero-sum game that can lead to rash decisions. Cutting edge can lead to cutting corners. Being better than the competition can lead to denigrating the competition. Being focused on wild profitability can lead to poor quality and poor stewardship of valuable resources. If you are reading between the lines, then you realize that this can tarnish one’s moral compass and wreck organizational credibility (and organizational culture).
Character and capacity go hand in hand. Dr. John Townsend defines character as the capacity to meet the demands of reality. He says that integrity is the courage to meet the demands of reality.[1] Without healthy character, growing capacity, and true moral courage we will drift with every passing fad and allow the outward pressures to overrule our internal guidance system. Our compromises over time will damage our character and shrink our personal capacity.
3. Relying on DIY instead of Seeking Community and Professional Guidance
Even if we become keenly aware that paying attention to self and good self-leadership matters, we can still default to a “do it yourself” approach to try and fix the situation. Our digital world lends itself to this mentality. We fall prey to the notion that we can fill our mental diet with a few YouTube videos and popular podcasts, and everything will be all right. But the primary problem with DIY (doing it yourself) is that you end up DIBY (doing it by yourself). It is genuinely impossible to develop character and capacity alone. The necessary inward work requires a community and professional guidance. We build character and shape to our moral compass by being in authentic relationships with one another.
We all know the mantra that leadership is lonely at the top. And while it is true that leadership can be isolating, it doesn’t have to be. Isolation results more from workaholism and pride than the nature of a leadership role. We choose to overwork, and we choose isolation. We choose to be unknown and unknowable. However, we can also choose to work less, be in a community with a few trusted others, and, most importantly, humbly admit that we need others.
Professional coaching can be an effective way to begin the journey of self-awareness and good self-leadership. Coaching aims to have an extended conversation that leads to more profound self-discovery and helps get you unstuck. I have benefitted from professional coaches through several seasons of my life. It beats the heck out of DIY!
Like a city that is broken down and without walls (leaving it unprotected) is a person who has no self-control over their spirit (and sets themselves up for trouble). Proverbs 25:28 Amplified Bible
Check out our professional coaching page for more information—and learn how to overcome the hurdles.
[1] Dr. John Townsend, People Fuel, Zondervan, 2019.
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