The Inflection Point: Leadership Crisis at Midlife

"Inflection" is "a change in pitch or loudness of voice." Therefore, an "inflection point" is often when that loudness reaches a crescendo. Leaders face several inflection points throughout their lives. Some are brought on by chosen changes in what or how they are leading. Sometimes, inflection points hit due to market forces and other outside challenges. Some inflection points result from a leader's poor choices and mistakes.

An inflection point can also mean "when a significant change occurs--a turning point." In other words, the "voice" becomes so loud that something must change. Some predictable inflection points are determined by the stages or seasons of life. William Shakespeare addressed this in his "Seven Ages of Man." The ancient Greek statesman Solon also talked and wrote about seven predictable stages that lasted ten years each. There is modern research around this as well. During the 1960's Daniel J. Levinson, a Cal Berkeley-trained psychologist who furthered his studies at Harvard and Yale wrote The Stages of a Man's Life and The Stages of a Woman's Life (co-authored with his wife, Judy). Levinson was looking for common patterns in men's and women's lives that were predictable according to age or seasons of life that may create an inflection point. Dr. Laura Nash, a Senior Research Fellow at Harvard Business School, researched professional women's life stages. David A. English and his wife Beth have written and taught extensively from a Christian perspective on these stages and how to navigate them.

Most of my coaching clients through Vocāre Leadership fall into two age ranges: 28 to 35 and 45 to 55. These ages closely align with the research around key inflection points. English labels these two stages as the Minor Life Transition stage and the Major Life Transition stage. I want to focus on the Major Life Transition stage for both men and women. In my research on finishing well, I noted some consistent patterns related to this stage of life.

Men typically believe that life, especially their vocational life, will always be upward and onward--until it isn't. Often, somewhere in their 50s, men quit rising vocationally. The titles and new positions stop coming. Their status as sought-after leaders begins to wane. This time frame is also the season when men realize that the price they paid for that upward trajectory came at the expense of their family and other close relationships. This realization may even result in a crisis of character where they realize that their determination to get ahead has injured their overall integrity. In other words, men reach an inflection point at this stage of their life. Two profound emotional questions arise at this inflection point: "What happened?", "Is this all there is to life?" The result can produce a season of great regret and overreactions that can lead to faulty decisions. This is a season often labeled midlife crisis.

Women reach their inflection point in a different way and through a different set of experiences. Women often experience much of their adult life as a series of stops and starts. It can feel like a series of concentric circles with no off-ramp. This experience proves true for working women and stay-at-home moms. The primary reason for this experience is that women often feel the emotional weight of raising children much more profoundly than men. Single and married women without children can also feel this in the corporate world due to cultural realities such as the "glass ceiling" and "glass cliff." The glass ceiling represents a set of barriers that prevent women from advancing to the highest levels of leadership despite having the necessary qualifications and experience. The glass cliff represents a phenomenon where women are disproportionately placed in precarious, high-risk leadership positions during times of crisis or downturn, often setting them up for failure. Interestingly, women reach the inflection point at about the same age (or age range) as men. They frequently confront the emotional questions: "Who am I really?" and  "What significant contribution can I make in this season of my life?" A third emotional question often follows these two, "Am I able?" The result can produce a profound season of questioning their identity and confidence. This reality usually becomes a season of re-emergence.

Both seasons, for men and women, are "from . . . to" moments. Transition means to go or move from one thing or destination to another. It requires letting go of something to pick up something else. It is a change season. These transition seasons can result in weakened leadership from a loss of bearing and confidence. Doubts can begin to enter, causing you to lose your leadership voice and presence. Followers may start to experience your leadership as distant and unstable. But your leadership presence and voice can be renewed, refreshed, and restored.

For the follower of Christ, there is a pathway to reimagine growth and contribution at the inflection point in this season of transition. The journey revolves around cultivating an eternal perspective, forming a fresh community, and pursuing intimacy.

Cultivating Eternal Perspective

There are three points in the Apostle Paul's life where we see him evaluate his life. Notice I said "valuate." To evaluate something means to look back and determine both good and bad outcomes as a result of strategic choices. To valuate something is to contrast and compare two things according to relative worth. Paul does this in 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, Acts 20:24, and 2 Timothy 4:6-8. These three valuation points for Paul reflect his journey from midlife to the end of his life. Ultimately, he compares and contrasts his calling and vocation against the reality of finishing this life and receiving God's eternal rewards. The primary lessons from each passage are these: run the race of life God intended with great intentionality and discipline; to complete God's calling and commission on our lives is of way greater value than life itself; legacy is not simply about what you will leave behind, but about what you will pass on.

Forming Fresh Community

You won't finish well or make your next significant contribution while operating alone. You need the company of others to get you to the finish line. The Bible continually reminds us of the value and power of community. (Hebrews 10:23-25, Ephesians 5:15-21, 1 Thessalonians 5:9-11)

Pursuing Intimacy

Intimacy is about closeness. I have one mentor who reminds me that intimacy with God is the purpose of life. Inflection points are ultimately an opportunity to assess and valuate your personal life today and your relationship with God. This understanding is an opportunity to refresh your dependence and posture of surrender to God. (Psalm 1, Hebrews 4:16, James 4:8)

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