Moving from Questioning to Confidence: A Leader’s Journey

Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

Every leader, or at least every honest leader, goes through seasons of questioning their leadership. Am I qualified? Do I know enough? Do I have anything to offer? Do I have what it takes? Will people respect me? Will people follow my lead? Am I truly a leader? Questioning has the potential to result in uncertainty, doubts, insecurities, unhealthy fears, and uneven leadership practices. Often, the most prominent seasons of questioning occur when we receive a new promotion or challenge.

Ten years into my initial career, the organization asked me to take on a new role in an elevated leadership position. It was a role of leading leaders over scope and distance. I said "No" twice before finally saying "Yes" upon the third request. I was following a legend who was well respected among those he led. I was an outsider, not a part of the band of leaders this long-time leader had shaped. Plus, I enjoyed my current season and scope of leadership. I led a local team with direct influence and could readily see the fruit of my labor. To take on this new role meant a geographical change and a very indirect form of leadership. All of the above questions were in my mind as I began transitioning to this new leadership responsibility. While every point of significant change can catalyze questioning, it can also be a great season of growth and transformation.

What is the pathway from questioning to confidence? How do we navigate these points of change, challenge, and questioning and come out more grounded, secure, and effective on the other side? I am convinced that there is no magic formula. Ultimately, the journey from questioning to confidence is not a linear progression but a continuous cycle of growth and transformation. It is impossible to eliminate uncertainty, but adding insight and clarity along the way is possible.

"Confidence" is an understanding of one's powers, a faith or belief that one will act correctly, properly, or effectively. This definition sees confidence from both the viewpoint of the leader and the one being led. For the leader, there must be a truthful understanding of who one is and who one is not- and see their talents, abilities, and limitations. On the other hand, followers rarely trust a "perfect" leader, but they will trust an authentic leader who doesn't always have all of the answers.

Research reveals several key building blocks in moving from questioning to confidence.

  • Knowledge and Skills: Increasing our understanding of the context in which we lead and becoming more proficient in some key competencies to lead effectively

  • Clear Vision and Goals: The ability to communicate a desirable future reality for the organization and to set and celebrate milestones along the way

  • Courage and Resilience: The ability to take risks despite uncertainty and the ability to bounce back from failure and loss

But at the top of the list is Self-Awareness! Self-awareness is clearly seeing who we are and how we come across to others. Tasha Eurich, in her book Insightlists seven pillars of insight that are important for growing leadership self-awareness:

  • Our Values--those core principles that guide us

  • Our Passions--that which we love to do

  • Our Aspirations--what we want to experience and achieve

  • Our Fit--the environment we require to be happy, energized, and engaged

  • Our Patterns--our consistent ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving

  • Our Reactions--the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that reveal our strengths and weaknesses

  • and Our Impact--the effect we have on others

Research also reveals that 95% of leaders think they are self-aware. In reality, only about 10-15% indeed are self-aware. And, the higher one goes in leadership, the more their self-awareness journey becomes stagnant and truncated. One of the dangerous outcomes of being unaware is an unhealthy sense of leadership pride.

The Proverbs of the Bible are instructive:

  • When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom (Proverbs 11:2)

  • Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall. (Proverbs 16:18)

  • "Scoffer" is the name of the arrogant, haughty person who acts with arrogant pride. (Proverbs 21:24)

  • One's pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor. (Proverbs 29:23)

Deep humility leads to great boldness, and unchecked pride leads to great fear. Boldness anchored in humility can empower and serve. Fear rooted in pride often becomes controlling and totalitarian.

Leadership self-awareness is essential to leadership humility. Ultimately, the goal of a confident leader is not to make much of self but to transcend self and make much of others.

P.S. A significant first step is to take inventory of your level of self-awareness. Access my free guide, The Leadership Self-Awareness Index, to do just that. 

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The First Step in Growing Leadership Self-Awareness: Self-Assessment

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The Essential Need for Cultivating and Growing Leadership Self-Awareness