Feeling Stuck? Five Helpful Steps for Movement and Change
Photo by Manny Becerra on Unsplash
Stuck describes "something that is frozen or fixed in one place and unable to be moved." Everybody feels stuck at some point (or likely several points) in their lives. It is the profound feeling that you cannot progress on something meaningful or important to you. This can revolve around relationships, careers, or a challenging life issue. Being stuck can result from any issue where you desire change but feel blocked or powerless to see change. A feeling of "stuckness" can often occur when you anticipate or know you are in a season of transition. Over time, feeling stuck can be exhausting and discouraging, leaving you without a real sense of hope.
Remaining stuck typically results from limiting beliefs and a lack of courage to demonstrate personal agency. A limiting belief is a thought or conviction that overly constrains you in some way from reaching your full potential. It can be based on misconceptions, negative past experiences, or self-doubt. These beliefs create barriers to agency and achievement. Agency is the capacity to act or assert power for oneself--in other words, to take meaningful action.
Examples of limiting beliefs are "I'm not smart enough," "I'm not worthy of success," "I'm too old or too young," "I can't change," or "I don't deserve happiness and joy." And there are others. I recently experienced this firsthand as I considered a significant late-life vocational change. Of course, this is not the first time I've felt stuck in a significant way. But it is the most recent. In the midst of this choice, there was an underlying, foundational limiting belief, "I am not enough?" It was a two-year faith journey that included a professional coach, the wise input of friends, thorough self-reflection, and ongoing accountability to a step-by-step approach. This led to empowering beliefs and day-by-day courage and agency. Of course, many other micro-moments of "stuckness" have caused me to hesitate, doubt, or pull back. But all of them have resulted from some combination of limiting beliefs and a lack of courage to demonstrate agency. All those moments that became testimonies of success required five essential steps.
Five Steps to Help You Get Unstuck
1. Investigate and examine your current reality. Describe your “stuck” moment or “stuck” season in words. Take some time to write down your thoughts. Be sure and attempt to address why you feel stuck.
2. Identify and challenge your limiting beliefs. This is a significant step to help you break free from the constraints and move toward acts of courage. By replacing our limiting beliefs with empowering beliefs, we can create a more positive mindset and open up to new possibilities. A fresh vision for your life can lead to small acts of courage that lead toward habits of daily agency.
3. Explore a core set of empowering beliefs. What do you want to be true about how you see yourself and your ability to move forward? These may be aspirational in the moment but can become reality over time through the practice of daily behaviors.
4. Create a community of encouragement and accountability. You need others to walk beside you to provide perspective and encouragement. You need someone to challenge your limiting beliefs and aid you in getting to empowering beliefs and change. Personal coaching can be a great asset to getting unstuck. I have utilized professional coaching many times, which has proven to be a tremendous help in providing personal empowerment, clarity, and agency toward something that mattered to me.
5. Remain teachable and humble. When progress and success arrive at your door, don’t take all the credit. No one is genuinely successful by themselves. All who can overcome "stuck" and move toward a place of greater influence and service do so with and through the company of others.
There is a story in the Bible that is very instructive regarding being stuck. In the book of Judges, in the Old Testament, we learn about a man named Gideon. In Judges, chapters six through eight, we see both the making of a leader and a leader's demise through the person of Gideon. Historically, this episode takes place when the nation of Israel was under siege by a nation called Midian. God calls Gideon to be his instrument to free Israel from the Midianites. But Gideon immediately discerns all the reasons he can't possibly be the one to deliver Israel from its oppressor. He is wallowing in fear from limiting beliefs. God slowly and gently builds Gideon's confidence to fulfill what he has called him to do. Along the way, God is also building Gideon's dependence and belief in God for the impossible. Gideon and 300 men overthrow the vastly superior Midianite army, and the whole of the invaders is routed. In his success, Gideon began to act more hastily and proudly, which initiated his demise. While Gideon established peace in Israel for 40 years, Israel returned to a life of idolatry immediately after his death. Gideon's legacy was tarnished. This biblical episode reveals two realities for leaders. First is the power of limiting beliefs and the patient character of God in dealing with us to fulfill his calling. Second is the deceptive nature of success and the temptation to rely on ourselves more than the God who created and called us.
Feeling stuck at certain times of your life and leadership is normal. Getting unstuck and moving toward freshness and more significant influence is critical.
Let me offer you two free options today if you are feeling stuck. Click on this link (and scroll down until you see the appropriate resource) to download your free "Getting Unstuck Worksheet.” Thinking through and identifying key problems is a problem half solved. Two, click on this link to schedule a free 30-minute consultation with me to see if Leadership Coaching might be a good option for you in this season of your leadership life. And begin the journey toward getting unstuck!
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